When Theo Pafitis threw his money on the floor and declared that he might as well put all his money on a roulette wheel, I knew my visit into The Dragons Den was not going too well. Theo must have been preparing that line for quite some time, so I hope it makes the cut - otherwise he'll use it on some other hapless chump.
Walking up a flight of stairs to find myself inside my TV set was one of the most bizarre experiences I have ever had. There were the four 'Dragons' lined up in front of me, all of them very familiar faces. To my left were ranks of cameras, preparing to capture my performance.
It all started to go wrong when I couldn't find the little mark on the floor I was supposed to stand on. Off I went into my over-rehearsed pitch, only to be cut short by James Caan - 'I don't think you're standing in the right place Joe'. I found my little mark, and started again. But so bemused by my situation and surroundings, I then forgot the most important bit of the pitch - how much money I wanted!
This didn't make a good impression. I was beginning to imagine that my appearance would be going straight to an out-takes show, or perhaps straight to the bin.
I only entered into the thing in the hope that I would at least have a memorable experience, and manage to get my precious biscuits on the telly. I had been re-asurred by friends and family that 'there's no such thing as bad publicity, go on!'. I knew that the price I would have to pay for a minute of BBC2's time would be a big chunk of dignity - I just didn't appreciate how much! I had become one of those nervous, sweating, befuddled people you see on Dragons Den that you scream at. You think your business is worth how much!!!?? Who on earth would want to invest in THAT??! I now have every sympathy with those people, because I have become one of them.
As I write this, it's 1 hour before transmission of the show, and I have to say I am just a little nervous. I'm on my third glass of wine. I've no idea how my half hour in the den will be edited down into 60 seconds on the box. If the best bits have been missed out (Like Duncan Bannatyne saying 'these biscuits are fantastic', Deborah Meaden riding in on a white stallion or Peter Jones melting his seat just with the heat of his own smugness*) then please get in touch, and I will gladly divulge all.
I'm off now to settle down on the sofa, or possibly behind it, to watch some TV.

*only one of these is true.

Our little packs of 2 biscuits that you might have seen in the best coffee shops have been in the shadow of their big-brother cartons, since they were given a fresh look last year. Now however, they can be proud of their new outfits, and bright new colours that complete the new family look.

At the same time we have extended the range, and you will now be able to find both our scrumptious Apple Crumbles and award-winning Chocolate Limes available in our little packs of two.

WE HAVE A WINNER!                                                    January 2009

If you have studied the inside of our biscuit cartons, you will know that we run an annual competition to win a weekend here on The Isle of Mull.
Every year we get bags of entries, containing poems about our biscuits, pictures of our biscuits in exotic places, videos of our biscuits doing exciting things (usually accompanied by an adult), stories and more. All the best entries go into a big box in the corner of our office, and then we pull out a winner at random.
This year's lucky winner is Anne Bagnall, who took a pack of our shortbread on a trip to Uganda, whilst visiting her daughter who was working as a volunteer for VSO in a hospital un Kampala. Congratulations! We look forward to seeing you on Mull...

THANK YOU to everyone who sent us an entry - we really do enjoy reading through them all! Our website will soon have some sections bolted on to it where you can see some of the best entries.
 

FIRST STEPS TOWARD A NEW HOME                              October 2008

Charlie the digger man has been busy on the site of our new bakery for the last few months, and he's now created a roughly level-ish patch of ground on which we hope to build our much-anticipated new bakery. Roughly level-ish patches of ground are not that common on Mull, so we're lucky to have one.
We hope to get things off the ground at the end of 2009,and can't wait for the extra space that we'll have available some time in 2010. We shall put it all to good use by baking lots of new biscuits!

We've also got some exciting plans for how we shall bake all those biscuits...
We have always believed that organic farming was the only environmentally-sustainable way to produce food, and that's why we have always used only organic ingredients in our biscuits. We intend to to take that sustainability principle one step further in our new bakery.
Our new oven will not use gas or oil for heat (as most industrial ovens do), and add to the quantities of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere, like those conventional fossil-fuel guzzlers do. Instead we'll be using WOOD from the abundant forests on Mull, which offers us the prospect of our baking being CARBON NEUTRAL. Because the wood we'll be using is sourced from managed plantations, anything we burn to bake our biscuits is replaced by new planting, which absorbs carbon dioxide as it grows.
We have top boffins working on the project, which we believe (unless anyone can correct us!) will be the first commercial wood-fired biscuit oven in the world.
 

APPLE CRUMBLES JOIN THE GANG!                         September 2008

Our latest biscuity delights had a long and troubled gestation in our kitchen at home. Again and again we weighed, mixed and baked in search of the perfect Apple Crumble. My little recipe book was quickly filled - and it was not until version 52 that we got it just right.
Generous quantities of chewy apple pieces, plump oats, big glugs of concentrated apple juice and a sprinkling of cinnamon  combine to create a deliciosuly more-ish biscuit, with a genuine warming flavour that comes from generous use of real ingredients, rather than chemical flavouring concoctions.

LOVELY NEW PACKAGING!                                                July 2008

We've given our biscuits a new look for the summer, by taking our old cartons off to the tailors, cutting them up and stitching them back together to create some subtly different clothes. There are some new colours (blue for shortbread - my favourite), and a more prominent position for our Highland Cow motif. (variously referred to as McMoo / Wee Coo or Boris. Any other suggestions gratefully received!)

We've also been hard at work on a fantastic new biscuit, which will appear in the new packaging soon! I'm really excited about this biccie - it's my new favourite and I can't wait to get it out onto the shelves of all our deli friends. I'll save the reveal for a little later..... it's top secret for the moment.... but I can say that it involves a round green fruit that also finds it's way into cider. It rhymes with chapple. and grapple.

THE WEBSITE IS BACK!                                                   March 2008

Found it! Here is HRH, who dropped by a few years ago to have a chat. He was very good humoured, given that when we started up in business we were helped by The Princes Scottish Youth Business Trust, and a little later had the temerity to go into competition with Duchy Originals.